Please enjoy this cliché photo of a man sitting on a park bench alone.
This blog post is inspired by my lovely mother, who worries about me in the loving way that all moms do. When I told her that my roommates were all going out of town for the holiday weekend, she half-shouted, "So you're going to be by yourself, all weekend? Won't you be so lonely?" I quickly reminded her that "all weekend" meant Friday evening, and Saturday after my pottery class, because my roommates would all be home on Sunday. But still, she was worried. She didn't want me to be alone for all that time.
Being alone isn't scary or weird for me. It's quiet, which is rare when you live in a house full of eight (yes, you read that correctly, eight) college age girls, but as you can imagine sometimes you need some quiet when you have seven other roommates. Now, a whole weekend isn't ideal and I'll admit freely that I've already watched four episodes of Law and Order: SVU on a television channel that I had never heard of until today...but that aside, I think that spending some good ole' qt with yourself is a good idea. Another admission: I have Frozen on in the background as I write this so that I don't go to sleep scared.
I think that one of the reasons I don't mind being alone is the time it allows for thinking (and singing very loudly in the shower and playing your ukulele as much as you want!!!). I'm not encouraging that we should all go for a long period of time without interacting with other humans because I can already tell by the quality of my jokes in my group message with friends that I'm losing it a bit. But a certain amount of time without having constant conversation and chatter of other voices is helpful. It gives you time to sort through things that have been bouncing around unnoticed, cluttering up your precious thinking space. With graduation approaching, school, an internship, a babysitting gig, and a Relay For Life leadership position, I'm realizing that I don't have a lot of thinking space to spare. When I'm not planning for one thing, I'm brainstorming for something else. That doesn't leave a whole of time for a personal check-in.
Here's an example: I've been so busy lately, that when the thought of graduation comes up, my instant reaction is "ugh" and I try to stop thinking about it and I move on. This weekend, while I was applying to more jobs (side note: hire me please) I felt like I had plenty of time to consider what I was actually doing, and to be excited about it. I love UNC, and I'm more than happy to rewind and have one more year, but life after what essentially comes down to 1/4th of my life spent in one school or another actually is a pretty exciting concept. (Please remind me of this a week from now when I'm randomly crying after glimpsing my cap and gown hanging ominously in my closet).
So if you can make sense of this rambling, I guess what I'm getting at is that checking-in with yourself and spending some alone time every now and then is a really good idea. After spending a day to myself, I feel more connected to my goals and thoughts and hopes for the remaining month and a half of the semester. I'm very excited for my roommates to come home tomorrow for many reasons (one of which is so that I can stop jumping a foot in the air every time I hear a weird noise in the house) but I'm happy that in this period of high stress and worries about change, I've taken some solo time to wrap my head around everything.